To TV or not to TV.

 

When one thinks of a television licence one naturally thinks of a television. Now it is well known that televisions come in many forms, from black and white to high definition. Yet whether cable, satellite, digital or analogue, they all share one thing in common; they all show pictures made by a company - such as the reputable British Broadcasting Company - and delivered to a machine that is primarily designed to show them. In the UK the BBC is linked to a government directive to collect money, in that if you can only legally watch the BBC if you buy a 'licence' from a group called the TV licence board. To make things easy it is actually illegal to own a TV in the UK without such a visa - this is for those people who claim they only watch sky or cable.

 

The board recently moved to extend this empire.

 

A new ruling by the UK television licensing people declared, quite blithely I thought, that they could tax anyone who watches the BBC's simultaneous live internet postings - a masterful tactical stroke to make certain that UK denizens have to shell out to watch the world cup.

 

I hope that it does not sound like I am suggesting that the TV licensing Board and the studiously neutral BBC are colluding in this strange declaration, but they certainly share a lot of financial advantage. Profits or not, the action clearly makes it illegal to click some buttons on your computer and possibly semi-legal for others. Far be it from me to throw a spanner in the works, but I can see a few imperfections appearing on the radar that could possibly wreck their money making ambitions.

 

Unlike the dedicated TV, the internet is designed to be a free -if you discount buying the computer and the phonebills - exchange and it could become awfully complex for the user if the ability to tax a button was declared legal.

 

Imagine the scene if you will. You are faced with a Google Web search. In front of you are dangerous choices. If you click on the world cup without a TV licence a summons to court will appear in your mail - a part of the internet has just been made inaccessible subject to the user becoming a criminal.

 

But why stop there? If the BBC or the government TV licensing board thought a little harder all sorts of interesting scams could come to light. Perhaps a few other parts of the net could be put aside in this way; it would certainly make a fantastic way of checking up on all sorts of illegal activities. 'Sorry lads, but to visit the whole of .co.uk you need a British Passport'. More seriously the 'it is now illegal to access the government website if you have a criminal record' would put a stop to all those criminals accessing information legally, well, I mean, they would be criminals if they watch the world cup without a TV licence anyway…. Wouldn't they?

 

In short the internet community would become divided.

 

I can see only one small flaw in this magnificent mediocrity, and that is the national boundaries. Those with yachts who can't afford a TV licence (an admittedly small minority) can sloop off into international waters to watch a free world cup. Or alternatively an aficionado could take a cheap air flight to Munich and watch a free final on the BBC website there, before coming back. (Works out slightly cheaper than the TV licence) Outrageous really. The rest of Europe has free BBC except the UK, who have to pay.

 

So, for those who are not happy with this rather nifty solution to hard finance, you could complain to the European Courts for Equality. The BBC may after all be discriminating against you on the grounds of where you were born with the EU.